When does it end? When will people stop making up "special days?"
I know, I know: I'm always whining and complaining about this kind of stuff.
First it's Christmas.
Then it's birthdays (well actually, my birthday).
Now here I am shitting on Father's Day.
Only I'm not. I get why Father's Day exists, and it's the same reason Mother's Day exists.
Ideally speaking fathers and mothers should feel special, respected, and appreciated 365 days a year.
Unfortunately that's not how things play out. Some people need these "special days" because that's the only time they get recognized or treated special.
Not to brag but every day is Father's Day for me.
Every morning I wake up feeling blessed, not only because I'm, you know, alive and relatively healthy but also because I had the privilege to help bring life into the world, and now I get to help shape and guide that life to the point of maturity and independence.
I never feel like my family takes me for granted. I never feel undervalued or unappreciated. If anything I feel like maybe my wife overvalues me, like I can't possibly be all the things she thinks I am.
But I digress.
In the past my wife has tried to coax gift suggestions out of me in the weeks leading up to Father's Day. When that didn't work she abandoned tact and started asking me point-blank: "What do you want for Father's Day?"
My response has always been, "Nothing. I have everything I need."
This year, my wife decided to take a different approach.
Actually this new approach of hers started with Mother's Day.
My poor wife, bless her heart, she knows I'm not into these arbitrary "special days" so instead of waiting on me to do something nice for her this Mother's Day she took matters into her own hands.
She told me what was going down.
"In the morning we're going to the beach; then we're having lunch with so-and-so; then I'm taking K-money (our oldest) to Cirque du Soleil while you watch Lil' E (our youngest). Then we're having this meal for dinner and after the girls are in bed we're watching Supernatural."
And I was like, "YES MA'AM!"
I love it when she takes charge.
That night, after the girls were in bed and before we settled to binge-watch the adventures of Sam and Dean, we stood in the kitchen talking. I asked whether she had enjoyed her Mother's Day even though I hadn't given her a card, or flowers, or presents.
Her reply caught me off-guard. She said, "I had a great day and I don't care that you didn't get me anything."
"Oh no?"
"No. That's not what Mother's Day is about to me."
Intrigued, I pressed further. I had to know. "What is it about then?"
She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts. Then she said, "You know, every day I'm a mother first and person second. I put our family first and only take care of me if there's any time left. Don't get me wrong: I love being a mother. It's what I was born to do and I wouldn't change a thing.
"But when Mother's Day rolls around, I don't want a card, or flowers, or gifts: I want a day where I put myself first and do whatever I want to do. I want a day where being a mother takes a backseat to being a person. And I don't want anything from you other than your help in making that happen."
And there's the other reason I wake up feeling blessed every morning: my beautiful, wise, and insightful wife.
It makes perfect sense to me now. Mother's/Father's Day is the one day where being a parent comes second and being a person comes first. It means you get to set your usual responsibilities aside and do what you want to do.
What a simple and wonderful concept!
So today I spent my morning visiting a local UU church, my afternoon working on my book, and now I'm writing this post while snuggling Lil' E as she watches "The Wheels on the Bus."
Best. Father's Day. Ever.
I hope all you other daddies out there had an awesome day.
Happy arbitrary special day, fathers!
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