Friday, May 29, 2015

Joe Oliver's Master Plan

Remember how I tore a strip off Tom Mulcair for being fake and contrived?

I admit I was being a little harsh. A friend of mine accused me of being an idealist and I agree.

I get why politicians need teleprompters and scripts, to some extent.

Not everyone can say what they believe eloquently. I certainly can't. I need to rehearse or risk putting my foot directly into my mouth.

Believe me, I'm very familiar with the taste of foot.

Here's another reason politicians should use teleprompters: so they don't say the stupidest shit imaginable in front of an international audience.

"Hey, Joe Oliver, you're the finance minister of Canada. Do you know how can we spur economic growth?"

"Dur, yeah, I gots me a few idears. Why don't we loosen them labour laws up and make it easier for employers to lay people off. That'll really get the economy roaring!"

No wonder Canada's international reputation is down the shitter. I mean, look at the yahoos and morons representing us on the world stage!

In any case, Oliver's statement shows just how little he understands basic arithmetic.

Spurring economic growth by relaxing labor laws to make it easier to lay off workers?


While we're at it, let's fight obesity by making it easier for gyms to revoke and deny gym memberships to obese people. 


Why stop there? Let's improve mental health by giving counselors and psychologists the ability to deny mentally ill people the help they need.

Yeah, that'll work!

Thanks Joe Oliver. You're a genius.

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