Citizen's Arrest

I demand that Elizabeth May, leader of the Green Party of Canada, be arrested immediately. She is a threat to the safety and integrity of our beautiful nation and I won't sleep until she's behind bars.

Haven't you heard? She was dropping some serious bombs the other night. Pretty sure that's illegal under our spiffy new Anti-Terror legislation. 

I've heard people say she should resign but that's not going far enough. She's dangerous, man.

Forgot ISIL: this is the new face of terror in Canada.

How dare she deliver an awkward speech? 

How dare she say "FUCK" in public? That's a special word! It should be whispered only, never spoken. What kind of animal is she?

How dare she say that Omar Khadr, a war-criminal, has more class than the whole fuckin' cabinet? I mean it's true, but still! How dare she?

Oh dear, I said the special word, didn't I? I guess they better lock me up too.

Seriously though. The press makes me sick. 

Did you know there's a guy who's dropping real bombs on Syria right now? Did you know he's violating international law by doing it? Did you know he also happens to run our country?

Oh, but let's not think about that or the 100 other nefarious things Uncle Steve is doing as we speak. Let's focus on Elizabeth May. As if she isn't embarrassed enough already!

Look at this lady trying to pull her off stage. lol

Believe it or not my respect for May has actually increased since the gaffe. 

See I like when people, especially famous people or people in positions of authority, are authentic. And boy was May authentic! I wish she'd ramble like that in the House of Commons from time to time. I wish she'd drop a few f-bombs when she's being heckled by the classless shills in the Northern Republican Party.

Dishonesty, double-speak, and spin are par for the course in Canadian politics so pardon me for appreciating an honest moment. 

Truth be told, Liz was too apologetic about her little blooper. If I was in her position I would've given one interview and one only. And during this interview I would've blasted the media for focusing on such a silly event when things that actually matter are happening, not only here in Canada but across the world as a whole.

If you want to write about bad jokes, go report at a stand-up comedy club, fucktard. Meanwhile, report real news. 

And as for those calling for May's resignation, I can only imagine the world these people live in. I imagine it resembles a carnival fun house on acid. 

Resign? For telling a bad joke? 

Stupidity of this magnitude is truly staggering. I mean, it's not like May shouted FHRITP into the mic.

"Whaddya mean, I'm fired?" 

Let me sum up my thoughts on the matter.

I'd rather have a politician who drops f-bombs than one who drops real ones and I'd rather have a politician who tells bad jokes than one who tells good lies. I'd rather have a politician who makes honest mistakes and owns up to them than one who makes mistakes on purpose and tries to say they're good legislation.

If you're out there and you're listening, I have a message for you Liz: hater's gon' hate hate hate hate hate. Just shake it off, sister. The way they jumped all over you for such a little blooper shows how scared they are of you.

You must be doing something right. Carry on!