Morning Prayer part 2

"When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: the people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly." 

- Marcus Aurelius

Compared to Aurelius' other morning prayer, the above probably sounds a little pessimistic. Whereas before he urges himself to "think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive--to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love," he now prepares himself for a long line of unpleasant, unsavoury, and difficult people.

But is it pessimistic to prepare yourself for the inevitable, or simply pragmatic?

We must all interact with people who fall outside our circle of compassion. It's foolish to go around thinking we will get along with everyone we meet. People have different values, opinions, and habits, and it stands to reason that these will differ from your own. And good thing, too. Imagine what a dull world it would be if everyone agreed on everything all the time!

Although Aurelius is prepared to encounter all types of unpleasant people, he takes great care not to resent them, reminding himself that "they are like this because they can’t tell good from evil." In other words, it's not their fault that they're meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, or surly: it's because they are blissfully ignorant or because they cling to a skewed perception of reality. They value the wrong things because they confuse the good with the ill and thus fall into negative patterns of thought and behavior.

Aurelius continues:

But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own—not of the same blood or birth, but of the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. 

Rather than hate these wrongdoers, Aurelius feels a sense of brotherhood with them. Though they know it not, they too possess a splinter of the universal intellect and so there is a chance that they will one day see the beauty of good and the ugliness of evil.

And so none of them can hurt me. No one can implicate me in ugliness. Nor can I feel angry at my relative, or hate him. 

No matter what these wrongdoers do, they cannot touch Aurelius. They cannot even incite his anger, only his sympathy.

We were born to work together like feet, hands, and eyes, like the two rows of teeth, upper and lower. To obstruct each other is unnatural. To feel anger at someone, to turn your back on him: these are obstructions.

Those ignorant to the nature of good and evil are like the malfunctioning parts of a machine: they have fallen out of harmony with the whole and now hinder its proper functioning. To feel anger towards others--even those who purposely hinder the working of the human machine--is not only unnatural but an obstruction to right living.

Aurelius' words also happen to fall in line with one of Christ's most powerful teachings: that we should love our enemies and do good to those that hate us. Indeed, what merit is there in loving those who reciprocate our love and treat us well? It's natural to love those who love us back. The real challenge is to love those who spite us, insult us, obstruct us, and otherwise mean us harm.

We're so accustomed to fighting fire with fire--to countering insults with insults, aggression with aggression, and so on--that Aurelius' advice may sound backward. And yet a brief examination of our tendencies (and, more importantly, their results) shows them to be fallacious in the worst way.

Wars always fail to resolve the conflicts that spark them. Interpersonal disagreements worsen and become grudges when both parties remain disagreeable. Disease and illness are compounded by poor diet and lifestyle choices.

A force cannot be overcome except by its exact opposite.    

Next time you interact with someone who chafes you, try focusing on their good qualities, however few and minute. Try putting yourself in their shoes or thinking of a time when you irritated and annoyed others. Ask yourself, "What faults of mine resemble most closely this person's faults?" And lastly, try showing them kindness, understanding, and love.

They might not acknowledge or appreciate your good treatment, but then you're not doing it for the recognition.

You do it for yourself, because you know better. You know that people were made for one another, that the only thing that can conquer hate, anger, and the other toxic fruits of bad thought and wrong action are the forces of love, empathy, and sympathy.

You know that by showing kindness to the unkind, generosity to the greedy, and understanding to the ignorant, you fulfill your purpose and serve as a beacon of goodness for those around you.

/rant over