Christmas on Trial: Three Observations

I already spoke at length about my personal experience with quitting Christmas (and got plenty of grief for it on Reddit) so this time I'm actually going to get into it. But before I expound on the weird religious thing or the disturbing trend toward consumerism or the creepy character of Santa Claus, I want to share some observations I've made over the last few years. Yes, I'm aware these are subjective opinion. I'm banking on the fact that many of you will have made similar, if not identical, observations, hence lending them credibility.

These observations can be summarized as follows:

1. Most people hate Christmas
2. Most people are reluctant to quit Christmas
3. Most people hate it when others quit Christmas

Disclaimer: I'm not digging up stats for this. These are my personal observations, not a peer-reviewed research paper. If you happen to agree with my "findings," welcome to the circlejerk. If not, see you next week with some hard facts.

Most people hate Christmas

In the last few years I’ve noticed a growing hatred for the holiday season among friends and strangers alike. Working in sales, I've had the "pleasure" of talking to thousands of strangers. Custies, as I like to call them, were the first to clue me in to this trend. In the past, they would get testier than usual around the holidays (I work in the insurance industry so they are testy all year round) but recently they started to voice their hatred for Christmas. And if they'll open up to me about it ("you people raised my rates again!") you know it must be serious.

Many of my friends have also emerged from the closet and admitted they wish they could quit Christmas. Most of their complaints are standard fare—crowded malls, traffic, stress, money, the music—but a surprising number relate to that wholesome holiday tradition of spending time with your family. It’s not that my friends hate their families (at least I hope they don’t) but rather a matter of scheduling. These days, having two families is not uncommon. If your parents split and remarried, you now have two Christmas dinners to attend to. If you're married and your spouse also came from a broken home, you have four.

Another Christmas at the in-laws, eh Brian?

I have one friend whose wife was adopted. Her adopted parents divorced and remarried. Then my buddy's wife decided to find her biological parents and is now close with her mother, adding a third family to the equation. Spread this mob of people across two cities, add my buddy's own gigantic family (also has two sets of parents) into the mix and you have the Dante's Inferno of holiday seasons.

Isn’t this the time for rum-and-eggnog fueled chats by the fireside at some mountainside ski-resort? Guess not.

A few of my friends have even taken the brave first step to quitting Christmas. You know the one. “We’re not doing gifts this year.” So far, none have progressed any further, which brings me to my next point.

Most people are reluctant to quit Christmas

At the height of my bitterness, I wanted to write a book called "The Cult of Christmas." The way people used to defend it blindly, often on religious grounds, baffled me. Didn't everyone know that Christmas had nothing to do with Jesus? That the Romans had dressed their favorite pagan holidays in Christian clothing? That the whole thing was a sham hijacked by corporations in order to drive up profit? Whenever I mentioned such things I was met with feverish denial or evasion--just how I imagine a cult-leader might respond to criticism of his cult. 

I don't actually think Christmas is a cult (anymore) but the parallels between the two are hard to deny. Forget the people who are on the fence; why do those who admittedly dislike Christmas still go through the motions? Like the poor cult member who has suddenly realized the lapse in his judgment, my friends see Christmas for what it is and they don't like it one bit. So why do they stick it out year after year? Do they think they will miss it once they leave? Are they trying to avoid disappointing family and friends still in the cult? Christmas isn't easy to leave and doing so can sometimes be painful. Another parallel can be drawn between Christmas and an abusive relationship. Like a beaten spouse who just can't leave her tormentor, who even rushes to his defense, folks keep going back to Christmas despite knowing better. Hence #3.

Most people don't like it when others successfully quit Christmas

If we accept premise one and two, it is easy to see how they lead to this conclusion. Many people strongly dislike the holiday season, either in part or completely. Despite this, they feel obligated to continue the tradition. When they meet someone who has done what they could not--who has gone ahead and severed ties to Christmas--they react bitterly.

At least that used to be my explanation for it. Recently even this trend has begun to change. 

Initially my abstinence was met with confusion, anger, and sadness; last year, it was met with envy and indifference just as often as it was met with scorn. Who knows? Maybe in another few years we'll see more people doing their own thing. We have the time off. Why not take the holidays back for ourselves? Why not relax, spend time with the people we want to spend time with, and celebrate whatever we believe in however we see fit? Traditions, whether innocent or malign, are carried forward by people. Why not take what we like about the holidays and discard the things that stress us out and make us bitter and exhausted?   

Until then, the holidays remain a curious juxtaposition. On one hand it's a time for charity; on the other hand it drives people to put themselves into debt. On one hand it's "the most wonderful time of the year;" on the other hand people seem more miserable than at any other point of the year. On one hand it's a time for family; on the other people are stressed and overloaded and the last thing they want to do is have Christmas eve dinner with mom and brunch the next day with the in-laws and dinner with dad that evening and then...

You get the point.

48 days till Christmas!

/rant over