Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Facebook has Trumped me Again

Ah Facebook, you never cease!

Just this evening we were conversing and you mentioned that Top U.S. Psychiatrists Confirm Trump's Narcissistic Personality Disorder, "Textbook Case." 

And I was like, You don't say? 

You acted surprised when I didn't click on the link. "What if it's an Onion article or something?" you asked. "Don't you want to, you know, fact-check?"

And I was like Nah Facebook. I don't need to fact-check this particular tidbit. Whether it's a spoof piece or the real deal, I already know: Donald Trump is insane. His view of the world is so skewed, so out of alignment with reality, that he must surely qualify for a number of of mental disorders.

Narcissism is just the appetizer. 

Same goes for his rambling narrative, thoughtless insults, and lack of class: they all take a backseat to his incoherence. 

He just doesn't make sense on any level.  

You don't need top U.S. psychiatrists to confirm anything. Unless you're as crazy as he is, you can tell Trump is off his meds.     

It's for these reasons and more that Trump is the perfect Republican nominee for POTUS.

No, hear me out: he's ideal. 

It's no wonder he's polling ahead of every other candidate: none of those guys make sense either! So the Republican Party has been forced to think outside of the box. They figured If all our candidates are wackos, lets support the biggest wacko! 

Go big or go home. That sort of thing.

And Trump fits that description to a tee.

He's hyperbolic. He takes everything to extremes!

He talks about himself in the third person

He wants to build two walls to keep the immigrants out.

He's had lots of failed marriages.

He's a reality TV star.

He has lots of money.

And best of all, he's brilliantly hypocritical.

Side note: Who do you think will be in his cabinet? 

Starring Flava Flav as Vice President; Kim Kardashian as Foreign Affairs Minister; David Hasselhoff as Trade Minister Hoff; and Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Minister of War.  

Why not? Let's take it as far as we can people. 

It's madness I tell you. Pure madness!


Unless this is it, the day the Christians have been talking about all along. 


The final food fight.

(Read the following out loud in your best Bruce Buffer voice)

And in the Red Corner, wearing a toupee and man boobs, representing the 1%, he's the Self-Made, the Natural, the Gifted, he is DONALD "YOU'RE FIREEEEEED" TRUUUUUUUMP.

And in the Blue Corner, wearing owlish spectacles and old man legs, representing the people, he is the Hebrew Bulldog, the Democratically Socialist independent, he is BERNIE, "THE BERN" SAAAANDERS.

This is it guys. The Fight of the Century!

Trump and Sanders are diametrically opposed. Trump, the ultimate embodiment of the 1% ethos, versus Bernie Sanders, a democratic socialist who wants to go after big banks. They are truly the outliers. 

You won't find anyone further left of Sanders, nor are you likely to find anyone further right than Trump. 

If this were the UFC I would tweet Dana White and tell him to make the fight, but I understand that's not how politics work. I know that Bernie still has to get through the number one contender, Hilary "the Clint" Clinton before he can get a title shot. 

He's close, but the odds are stacked against him. 

The fact that Bernie's made it this far is a little miracle unto itself.

This is 'Murica, land of the Bold and Free, God Bless't and all proud and stuff. If you work hard, if you have good ideas and the will to carry them out, you can become anything. That's it. That's all you need. It doesn't matter what your roots are, what colour your skin is, whether you're an immigrant legal or otherwise, whether you have access to education or not--no! It's the land of opportunity. 

Didn't you hear?

A socialist anything shouldn't stand an ice-cube's chance in Hell running for POTUS. And yet here we are! 

So to have the "S" word uttered in respectable places is in itself a minor victory. But on top of that, Bernie has climbed the polls neck in neck with Hilary and carried himself respectably in the debates thus far. He's competing. He's what they call a live dog. He's upset-minded.

"They brought him in to lose: but no one told him that!"

Look, it's time we humans come to grips with the situation at hand and change our thinking. For the Americans, carrying Bernie to the top would demonstrate such a change, a move toward reason and equality to be sure--just remember who's in the Red Corner!

A win for Trump however, signals the tragic decline of a former world power. It signals a Dark Age for America both at home and abroad. 

A Trump win equals a net loss for all involved, and in this day and age, we are all involved.

Now I don't think Trump has a chance. I think either Hilary or Bernie could defeat him. I have faith in humanity, and I don't believe that Americans are any different from Canadians or any other people on Earth. I didn't think Canadians would re-elect Harper again, and I certainly don't think Americans will elect Trump at all. 

But anything is possible. So be warned my American friends! Don't vote for Donald Trump: he's a textbook Narcissist. 

It said so on Facebook so it must be true. 

But just in case, #FactCheckYoSelf

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