Inner Citadel

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.

--Marcus Aurelius 

Your mind can be an impenetrable fortress. Within its walls you can escape suffering and store the weapons you have acquired along life's journey. From its lofty battlements you can widen your perspective and see distant objects unseen by the masses.

Notice how I keep saying "can?"

In order to make your mind a fortress, you must first ensure that it is free of disturbances. By that I mean free of misery, anxiety, restlessness, anger, dissatisfaction, jealousy, and pride. The tranquil mind is indeed an inner citadel, but the disturbed mind is a prison cell.

It doesn't protect its owner; it enslaves him.

You've undoubtedly met people who are prisoners of their minds. They express unfounded opinions and beliefs as absolutes, take great pride in material achievements, deny or are unaware of their shortcomings, identify with falsehoods, act without regard or consideration for others, make poor life-decisions, and are ruled by emotions. They whine and complain, wish for things that aren't so, and are perpetual victims. They are quick to take credit and quicker yet to deflect blame.

Does this sound familiar? Does this sound like you?

If so, don't be embarrassed. Embarrassment is one of those disturbances that prevents you from reclaiming your inner citadel.

If you suspect you might be a prisoner of your mind, don't beat yourself up; rejoice instead!

How can you free yourself from a prison you don't even know exists? Once you realize that you're a prisoner, you can start working on your escape plan. But before you do, let's talk about how you got yourself locked up in the first place.

Your mind is home to a plethora of ideas and memories, judgments and opinions, beliefs and emotions. As these objects crowd into your inner citadel, they obscure the real you. The Christian mystic Meister Eckhart expresses this beautifully:

A human being has so many skins inside, covering the depths of the heart. We know so many things, but we don't know ourselves! Go into your own ground and learn to know yourself there.

When the mind can't pick its owner out of the crowd, it starts identifying with the crowd instead. It starts to identify with thoughts, feelings, memories, actions, possessions, talents, and achievements, all of which are not you.

These false identities combine to form a distorted version of the authentic You, a grotesque doppelganger that will do anything to exert its will over your thoughts and behaviour. Say hi to the Ego!

That Ego is a real motherfucker.

Who do you think tricked you into handing over the keys to the castle? Who do you think lured you into prison and convinced you it was your proper place?

This begs the question: if you're not the body at your disposal, the sum of the roles you play in life, or the summary of your skills, beliefs, and traits, then who are you really?

What defines you?

You cannot truly become master of your mind until, in Meister Eckhart's words, you tear away the skins that cover the depths of your heart. The walls of your prison are made up of false identities and the Ego acts as the warden, but you can rid yourself of both at any time.

The only power they hold over you is the power you have inadvertently given them.

Dig down through the labels and falsehoods and you will hit the bedrock: the real and authentic You. And would it shock you to learn that the authentic You is actually just a single You shared by all humanity? How could it be otherwise?

Peel back all the superficial bullshit and what's left is the objective Self, the observer, the ruling faculty, the Logos.

Maybe I'm getting a little too deep here. Let's pull back to the topic at hand: transforming the prison of your mind into your personal fortress.

The following two tricks can help you assume control of your inner citadel: mindfulness and presence.

I've mentioned mindfulness before: it's the act of keeping a detailed inventory of your thoughts, feelings, and opinions. I recently found out that mindfulness techniques like the ones described in Buddhism and Stoicism are being used to successfully treat Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, so it's legit.

Presence just means being present. It means no more time-traveling. Stop fixating on negative experiences from your past; don't fret over things that may or may not happen in the future. Learn from your past, plan for the future, but be present.

Mindfulness and presence will help you recognize the Ego's voice and deal with it accordingly. The more you catch yourself engaging in negative thought-patterns, the easier it becomes to prevent those patterns from taking over. The more you connect negative thoughts and emotions to your false self, the harder it is for the lie to remain intact.

One day, the Ego will just shut up.

Don't let the silence fool you, however: the Ego is still around, and it's a crafty sonofabitch. The whole time you think you've got it under control, it's plotting to take charge again. It's biding its time, watching, and learning how to bypass your defences. And when it does, you'll find yourself in that familiar cell without a clue of how you got there or how to get out.

In these situations, it's important to have a guide, mentor, or coach to show you the way out. Some people look to Jesus, Buddha, or Muhammad for guidance; others read self-help books. Even Homer Simpson has a guide!

Who is your Space Coyote?

And while you're at it, why limit yourself to just one? Why not put together a dream-team of guides and mentors? Whoever you decide to enlist for the job, just make sure they are always close by.

You never know when the Ego might spring a trap on you.

/rant over